After a big push, comes...

Aloe and Aeonium, 60x36, Acyclic on canvas 2013-in-progress

After a little bit of a summer break, and then directly into two intense weeks with the pressure to show progress on these pieces that have become epics is leaving me questioning myself and wondering if I pushed so hard and sacrificed thoughtfulness. I know, we've all heard these words of self-doubt from me before, and I am still not sure how it is that I push through it each time. I find that rather than staying on course with my big projects I get side-tracked by smaller ideas.  Maybe to reconnoiter, set a new course, or stay the course?

Maybe, rather than beating myself up about it, maybe we all get a little dose of this type of cyclical creativity? Or, maybe this is just my process. Maybe it is just the way I work. Maybe it is not so different out there in the professional art world?

It is funny thinking about my professional past-life, I've largely blocked it out...er...not really, I remember being in a constant state of firefighting heart-attack inducing. How on earth does one stay creative in such a place? I digress, I am thinking about how to face this piece, for example, now that I've pushed it so hard to this state? Did I miss steps? It feels like it needs more and less at the same time.  More Aloe? Do I keep going on the Aeonium or do I leave them like this? or do I need more of them? Do I f